One of the challenges of being a new mom is friendships. The challenge is multi-faceted. First, you’re so tired from countless feedings in the early days (and nights) that you literally have a hard time concentrating on more than three words at a time. Second, your doctor told you it was flu season and to stay away from people for six weeks or so…so you’re missing the fellowship of church and work and other social gatherings, and you feel like you’re always about a dozen steps behind on the latest goings-on in your friends’ lives. You’ve missed countless announcements and updates (even if you’ve been on social media more than you realized possible to try to fill that void). Then there’s the dichotomy of not always wanting to talk about kids but not knowing what else to talk about because they’re pretty much all-consuming in those first few months.
When you finally do make it back to church, the timing of services and feedings isn’t always complimentary, and you’re faced with the very real temptation to not even show up. But you keep going because the moms before you have said that the mother’s room was a fantastic spot for fellowship. Some days it is, and that’s great. Other days, there’s 8 moms in there at the same time, and it can be a little overwhelming–and you feel like you’re over-talking in an effort to relate to another human being. Then there are those days when you really want the fellowship, even if it’s overstimulating, and you find yourself in the mother’s room all alone.
One of the last posts I wrote was about having friends in all ages and stages of life, and I think this is more important now than ever! Sometimes hanging out with the fellow-new-mommies is exactly what you need, but then you realize that you’re all just figuring this out and there are countless others who have gone before and have some great advice. And it’s not worth getting offended over whether they offer said advice with or without solicitation. 😉 Then there are others who may not be exactly in the same stage as you right now, but they still want to be your friend and are desperately trying to relate to you too.
I just finished reading two blog posts (a series called “Keep Your Circle Broken” by Sara Horn), and I hope you’ll read them both and glean from them truths about always making room for one more friend and not letting yourself get offended when they haven’t read the latest blog post on “15 Things Not to Say to So-and-So.” Just accept them for who they are and know that they’re probably just trying to make friends too. We all stumble over our words and say the wrong things sometimes. But grace is about forgiving and choosing to move forward in strength and peace. Here are the posts:
And as you step in to church this Sunday, keep your eyes open for the new mom, the single lady, the grieving widow, the empty-nester, the nursery worker, the…you get the point…and go up and say “Hello” to that sister in Christ. You never know what friendship might blossom by making room for one more conversation–for one more new friend.